Birchbox August 2015

I heard one of the sample choices for August’s Birchbox was Coola’s SPF setting spray, and I never even bothered to look at the other options. Somehow it has taken the world all the way to 2015 to figure out how to reapply sunscreen on top of makeup. Let’s not be bitter about it, let’s enjoy the future now that it’s here! Great work, science, I knew you would figure it out eventually! As y’all know from my Popsugar Must Have Box review, there are two new sprays on the market this year and I’ve already tried the Supergoop! I was delighted to select Coola’s spray to see how it would compare. Here’s my August Birchbox:

Coola SPF30 Organic Makeup Setting Spray This was the sample that I chose, because holy crap yes send me all the sunscreen, especially if it’s something I can put on over my makeup! The good news is that this mists really super well and it takes very few pumps to feel like your whole face is covered. The really horrible news is that it feels like it might as well be 100% alchohol IT BURNS, IT STINGS, IT HURTS SO BAD. Apparently even though I thought my skin was okay, it’s actually a ton of open wounds. It felt like I’d gotten lemon all over a ton of papercuts. I gave this product several chances, because maybe I was just being a big baby the first few times. Or maybe my skin wasn’t as clear then as it is now, so it shouldn’t sting as much anymore. NOPE. This product just failed so hard. On the bright side, it’s also really expensive so at least I don’t have to worry about adding it to my shopping list.

Air Repair Complexion Boosting Moisturizer – This sounds like a fake product. It’s a jumble of words that vaguely make sense together but don’t have any real meaning, so I was really curious to find out what it actually did. Turns out it’s a mediocre moisturizer. It absorbs fine, and seems to keep my okay skin okay, but it doesn’t seem to improve the situation if my skin is actually dry. It smells not-great, but I can’t place the smell. I’ll use it up but I won’t be ordering any.

theBalm Cosmetics Balm Desert Bronzer/Blush – My skin is pale and cool, which means a warm glittery bronzer is almost literally the last thing I want. I’ve heard that this makes an okay blush for fair-skinned people, but I have no idea how people are using blush brushes to apply something from a pan this tiny. Normally I’d swatch this and give it a shot, but since I have more blush and bronzer than I need, I’m going to try to pass it on to someone else. I mean, look how cute the packaging is! It is as cute as it is tiny.

Adorable bronzer for ants.

R+Co Death Valley Dry Shampoo – I don’t use dry shampoo, because I love showering. Figuring out how to use dry shampoo will take me more time than actually getting clean, so I almost always opt for a quick shower. In the rare instances when I can’t shower, I completely forget that dry shampoo exists, so I have a couple sprays sitting around waiting for the day when I remember. I did remember to use this today though, and omg it smells so good. It’s sort of vanilla-y but not cotton candy sweet. Honestly the fact that it smells so good is going to make me want to shower a little less so I can wear this more. Well played, Birchbox.

St. Tropez Gradual Tan In Shower Lotion – What the hell, Birchbox? I chose sunscreen as my sample choice, and you send me bronzer and self-tanner? Remember how I just said that bronzer is almost literally the last thing I want from Birchbox? Well self-tanner is actually literally the last thing that I want. I’m actively trying to prevent a tan. This is not the right product to send me.

All in all, this box was weird. The thing that I wanted was awful, and one of the things that I didn’t want was amazing. Two things had no business being marketed to me, but for some reason I’m not that bothered by it. I think because the products look nice together and are fairly large, it looks like a nice box. Psychology is weird. It’s objectively not a good box for me, but it looks so nice.

My vague disappointment in this box and my total lack of interest in the September sample options led me to cancel my subscription for September. If you are interested in picking up where I left off, feel free to sign up with my referral link.

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